The Fray- Say when

The Dead Girl

The title arrested me! What do I expect?? The corpse of once a pretty young lady left to rot in some deserted field? My intuition, or sick imagination, or perhaps the glimpse of the gloomy field suggested it and soon it was realized.

The stranger

A lady in her thirties is sitting on a rock in some field eating a sandwich. She gets up and wanders about then I think she smells something because she heads straight to where the dead girl lays; open eyed, broken, covered with crusted blood and flies!! The lady regards the dead girl solemnly for a while and then reaches out and takes her necklace, a gold chain with the word “taken”. The incident of finding the dead girl somehow changes her life.

The sister

The dead girl is on a gurney in the morgue and a young pathologist is examining her. She notices a birth mark between the dead girl’s fingers and thinks that the dead girl might be her long lost sister. For 15 years her family had searched for a lost daughter and for 15 years she had lived in the shadow of that loss. Now there exists hope that the search is over and that a closure could be finally achieved. She cherishes that hope and for 2 days her life changes, she lives as she might have lived had she not been the sister of a lost girl. The dead girl is identified; she’s not the lost sister!!

The wife

The wife of a serial killer watches her husband go on his mysterious journeys. She objects in vain to his neglecting her. By accident she finds all the bags which he brings in and hides and they’re filled with bloodied under garments. She also finds women’s shoes and purses and Ids!! When he comes back one night, she asks him “do you know anything about those dead girls?” he says “no.”! One night he brings in the bloodied belongings of the dead girl..and his wife waits till he falls asleep, takes all the incriminating objects and burns them!

The mother

The mother of the dead girl is summoned to identify her daughter’s body. The daughter had run away when she was sixteen never to be heard of again. She meets her daughter’s roommate, and lover, and learns that her daughter has been a hooker and a junkie and that she ran away because her stepfather raped her. She also learns that her daughter has a 3 year old daughter!!

The dead girl

We finally get to meet the dead girl. She is pretty tho her face is that of a junkie. She has a good heart and a bright attitude despite her grim circumstances. Her daughter’s third birthday is the next day and she asks her “boyfriend” for a ride. He agrees but then he lets her down. She is alone on a highway with her clothes packed in a garbage bag and holding her daughter’s present. She hitchhikes and a car picks her up. She faces her killer with a smile and wonders if he can give her a ride to where her daughter lives..he says “ok but I have to make a stop first”. She smiles again and the movie ends with the rhyme

You are my sunshine..my only sunshine..

Lebanese arabic!!

blablabla

I am very tired.

Whenever someone passes me by I hold my breath until that rush of air they bring about with them and which carries their smell, settles down into stillness. Am I an awful person who cannot even SMELL other people!!

I had a haircut today. As usual Mr. Amin ignored my request to not shorten my hair. But he did give me the layers I asked for. I am not sure whether I like the haircut; I simply wanted a change. I got so bored with my hair I was even thinking of going blonde!! But the consequences of blonde are too serious for me to handle. What if I were to become a blonde? It does not matter really; what’s on my head has no way of changing what’s inside, one might think. But in reality a change of appearance affects one’s attitude and behavior. An enhanced appearance not only boasts self confidence and induces happiness; it can change one’s personality in a deeper way, One which I am not able to think of now because I’m too tired.

I saw a girl and a guy making out in the middle of the afternoon. I almost shouted with shock and resentment!! I resented them both for being inconsiderate and inappropriate. When humans cannot control their passions and act shamelessly on their instincts they become so appallingly animal like. Had I seen two cats mating I would’ve reacted with disgust but not resentment; I cannot resent animals for being animals.

I have a movie which I MUST watch. It is a disturbing movie and I cannot bring myself to watch it!! Why then do I have it?? Why do I do any of the things I do? Why do we live? Why do we cease to live and die? What is the point of IT all?? “there is no “it” for it to be about”, ”it’s all a dream “ and the only thing which remains at the very end is love!

I need to sleep...

When it comes to reading between the lines some people are hopelessly illiterate!

The Headache Inside My Head

The headache inside my head does not have my permission, he resides in my head against my will and he does not pay rent. The headache inside my head is often subtle and makes its presence known only by paralyzing my ability to concentrate; in these cases he disguises himself as a persistent yet far nagging wave. Sometimes the headache inside my head is abusive and forces me to use medications, namely paracetamol, to curb it. And sometimes the headache inside my head throws loud and wild parties when I am trying to use my head for thinking or imagining; I really dislike that especially that I do not have any other head to use.

I do not hate the headache inside my head and I do not wish him harm I just want him to leave in peace and find some other head to reside in; should he leave I might consider being friends with him; it’s much easier befriending somebody else’s headache.

..and she and her headache lived happily ever after.

The end.

Waking up early has never been my “thing”. The morning is a frightening time for me and experiencing it exhausts me and leaves both my mind and body is a state of tired confusion which might last the entire day. Getting a good night’s sleep does not alleviate the “morning experience”! There still is the horrible sounding of the alarm, the abrupt extraction of self from the wild and colorful dream land and the arrival of a sedated conscious mind on a dim lighted strange scene very much unlike the scene of the night before.

For a few seconds, very miserable seconds, my mind tries to make sense of its strange surroundings. Where am I, what is this sound, why is it in my ears, what is this unearthly light?? It asks as it sends my eyes questing about the room. The answers all hit me at once and I sigh with despair; I MUST get up! But first things first; my hand reaches out to shut the alarm up!

One more miserable morning to go and then I can go back to normal life when I wake up, like every other human being should, at 10.